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Father & Son: 1999

Do you have daily rituals?  Is watching the sun set one of them?

It used to be for me.  A ritual, I mean.

Please don’t misunderstand, I still watch every sunset, but it no longer has the ritual of sitting outside, cold beer in hand, neighbors sitting next to me, and sometimes, like in this photo, Lab on lap.

Exactly one month ago, on Valentine’s Day morning, our beloved Canine Son, Carter, took his final breath, and that night, we watched a beautiful Florida sunset – with one less spectator.

Bet you miss special loved ones too.

Our Final Night With Carter, February 13

Tomorrow Carter would have turned 11, but 25 days ago on Valentine’s Day morning, we laid Carter to a peaceful rest.

Cheryl has already begun the process of rebuilding our Family.

And the same day (yesterday) she shows me Carter’s breeder’s website, was the same day these ten tips on getting a puppy found their way to my inbox.

Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.

The tips are common sense but not common practice. Reading them reminded me how you get out of your Pet what you put into your Pet.

We put in a ton.

And still, Carter taught us more than we taught him.

Our beloved Canine son, Carter, our 11-year old Yellow Lab, is very sick.

What started a few weeks ago, appearing to be the a routine distraction from food – a neighbor’s pet in heat – has manifested itself into complications we may not recover from.  Cancer.

While our hearts are breaking, they are not completely shattered.  Big difference.

We have no regrets with Carter.  We have given and received all there is and was, to give and receive.

Peace and blessings.  Faith, Hope and Love.

Life.  Death.

Trust in the Lord with all our heart, all our mind, and all our strength.

And then cry like a baby, until we can no longer stay awake.

Happiest Dog in the World

We’ve been talking about a beloved Family pet, our Yellow Lab, Carter.

Virtually all pet owners understand the remarkable bond humans forge with their pets. And it’s especially strong in a pet relationship where there are no children.

Here’s the gift we received from what we thought was our very last weekend with Carter. We were staying at Mitchell’s Sand Castles, which is pet-friendly and on a quiet end of Sanibel Island. It was our 22 visit.

After a nice day on the Sanibel beach, with Carter at our side all day, we had a nice dinner in our cottage. I was walking contemplatively through the dark and tropical setting, taking the trash up to the road.

When around one dark corner, I was mildly startled by another man, standing by the road.  Unusual, and a little freaky.

We said casual greetings and then he asked me, “Were you the guy with the Yellow Lab on the beach this afternoon?”

“Yeah, that was me.”

He said, and I will never forget this, “I’ve never seen a dog wag it’s tail so much.  You must have the happiest dog on earth.”

There was a reason we went to Sanibel for Carter’s last weekend (so we thought) on earth.

It was so I could meet the total stranger out by the road, waiting for his pizza delivery guy.

Carter 2008 on Sanibel Island

Are there things in your life that are difficult to talk about? Things that scare you to talk about?

Me too.  But not as much lately.  Why? Because of things that have happened and the lessons learned.

Namely, becoming a parent. And thinking about the type of parent a child should have, there are a few key concepts that seem all too obvious to practice well.

Being honest.

On our sunset walk the other night, with our Dog, our son and I talked about random things.  Clouds. The sky’s color. The cold air. His “winter” clothing. Sounds we heard. Jokes. Junk.

And then for some reason, as we were turning off the road and through the woods to our house, I saw Carter, our yellow Lab (10), come following behind us.

“You know Carter’s not going to live forever, right?  All things die.  Carter will die some day. You know this right?”

It felt like the right moment to say that, mostly because of a recent conversation with a death expert.

This “death expert” works in Hospice and Palliative Care. She mentioned that her vision would be that everyone in her community would “die well”, not just her company’s “customers”.

It hit me in a weird, but glorious sort of way. Her honesty. Her frankness. Her ease in talking about death.

Eureka!

If we are aware and not too afraid, we can help Carter die well.  We should start thinking about it before we need to.

Same goes for humans.